Profound Sarcasm

Monday, July 21, 2008

Get Your Own Mariah Carey Bobblehead

Who was in charge of re-attaching her head? And why is she trying to remove it in the first place?

Seriously, my senile 16-year-old Bichon Frise with cataracts could do better Photoshop than this.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

On Giant Cans

Having huge boobs can be hard enough. Bra-wise, I mean.

Having huge boobs and a small back makes it practically impossible. Seriously, a year ago when I was a lot heavier I didn't have that hard a time. But my back has shrunk to "normal" and my boobs are still big (TMI? too bad) and that means I have to find something either ill-fitting or ridiculously expensive.

My mom just set me this link addressing exactly that. Well, not to much the expensive part as the actually finding something part (and the person who wrote this is worse off than I am - I'm still on the larger end of "normal" and find something occasionally).

And the evil clerks at Victoria's Secret laughed in her face. If I didn't already hate that store I would now.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Creepy = Emmy

If Michael Emerson doesn't win the Emmy for Outstanding Actor in a Drama Series, I'm going to stage a Lost-style revolt, complete with torches, stolen guns, polar bears and smoke monsters.

Why am I posting about TV again?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Yeah That's The End.

Rumor has it William Peterson is going to leave CSI.

So basically, the show will be ending soon.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Cliques and Body Image

I saw this over at Big Fat Blog and then again at The F-Word. This study just came out saying that the "label" that a girl identifies with as a teenager is related to her body image.

"More specifically, girls identifying with athletic peers ('Jocks') were less concerned about their own weight and seemed less likely to be trying to control their weight. Girls identifying with non-conformist peers ('Alternatives') were more concerned about their weight and appearance and more likely to be actively trying to lose weight. The girls who identified with those who skip school and often get into trouble ('Burnouts') believed their peers valued thinness and dieting. Finally, girls who did not belong to any particular peer group were the most likely to use slimming strategies."

I'm not completely sure what I was. Probably a giant nerd, but that isn't mentioned. Out of those 3 options I guess I'll take the non-conformists. I don't remember many of my friends being that obsessed with dieting, honestly. If they were, they didn't talk to me about it. I was, but I dare you to show me a 16-year-old shopping in Lane Bryant who wasn't.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Time Makes Me Want To Throw Things

They published an article about young women making "pregnancy pacts." Then they followed it up with another that ends with a veritable love letter to crisis pregnancy centers.

Click the expandy-thing to read my letter to the editor.

Nancy Gibbs did a disservice to women everywhere with her article "Give the Girls a Break." At the end, she credited so-called "crisis pregnancy centers" (CPCs) with "talk[ing] women out of having abortions and offer[ing] whatever support they can." While they do, in fact, aim to talk women out of abortions, what they offer is far from support.

These centers use scare tactics, pressure, and flat-out lies to keep women from making their own reproductive choices. Many CPCs deliberately position themselves very close to legitimate women's health clinics to cause confusion. They do whatever they can to trick women into entering their "clinic" instead of the real one, then once she is inside they try and scare and brainwash her so she can't make an informed choice. On the phone, they won't give out any information and will insist you visit the clinic.

Frequently CPCs won't even tell a woman whether or not she is pregnant, especially if she says she wants an abortion. They will instead sit her down and tell her all the "evils" of abortion, many of which are completely untrue. Their lobbies and waiting areas are full of religious and anti-choice propaganda, most of which is based on intimidation and blatantly false information. Women who have accidentally entered these places report harassment, as well as being forced to pray with center employees and even being followed home or later hassled by phone or mail. To any woman out there: if you find yourself in one of these centers get out immediately. Don't stop to tell anyone, don't wait for your test results; get out, find a legitimate clinic, and make your own informed decision.

These centers do not, in fact, help women of any age "take responsibility" for having sex. The best way to take responsibility for your sexual activity is to protect yourself with contraceptives, get regular health screenings and keep yourself informed of your reproductive choices, including both carrying to term and deciding to abort. Any choice a woman makes about her pregnancy is taking responsibility, and no woman should ever feel pressured or be lied to in order to sway her decision.

Monday, June 30, 2008

I Hate Judgmental Video Games

Here's a good editorial about Wii Fit.

It uses BMI (crap) to determine your goals and will give you weight-loss tips even if you enter "no change" in your weight loss preferences. Plus, once it measures your BMI (again, crap) it will change your Mii's body accordingly. And again, no matter what your enter as your goal, it will select a BMI (do I have to say it again? crap) goal for you. Apparently 22 is some sort of universal ~~crap~~ BMI magic number or something.

I wonder if it would give mine giant knockers. I mean, if it's trying to make your Mii's body more like yours...

Saturday, June 28, 2008

It Does Happen In Threes.

First, Tim Russert dies.

Then we lose George Carlin, one of the greatest comedians ever.

And now, we've lost the world's best and most adorable college mascot, Uga VI at age 9.

Rest in peace, badass puppy.

(I'll refrain from using terms like "the air-conditioned doghouse with a big bag of ice to lay on in the sky")

He was Georgia's "winningest" mascot.