Hey guess what, if two people who supported Clinton are quoted in a article, they represent the exact sentiments of every other person who supported Clinton! That's right. Obviously because this one woman felt that the Democratic party treated the candidates unequally and the other plans to vote for McCain over Obama, that must be how we all feel!
Well, that's what this glimmering beacon of political enlightenment seems to think.
Despite the fact that, well, Clinton's campaign was treated differently than Obama's by both Democrats and the mainstream media, if we call anyone out on it we're just whining because we think she was entitled.
Never mind the fact that Clinton herself said weeks ago how stupid it would be for her supporters to vote for McCain over Obama. At some point, some exit poll somewhere said that some Clinton supporters would vote McCain (I notice we failed to mention that nearly as many Obama supporters said the same thing)! And there's one person quoted in that article! zomg it's true for everyone!!!!!11111one
Run your eyes really fast from left to right over my banner. See me roll my eyes? I'm doing it for real, too.
Friday, June 6, 2008
The Glaring Results Of Cultural Brainwashing.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Quickie: A New Low In Lawsuits
...and that's saying something.
A man who ran over and killed a Miniature Pinscher is suing the dog's family to repair his 97 Honda Civic.
Never mind the fact that he killed their dog. Their grief isn't nearly as important as fixing his 11-year-old car.
If someone hit my Min Pin they wouldn't be suing me for damages. Why? They'd be dead. Or at the very least, they'd be too busy contemplating the fact that I just handed them their own reproductive tract in a baggie.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
That's Really Gonna Hurt On The Way Out
I apologize in advance for linking to Fox "News." But this was too good to pass up.
During an ultrasound, a mother to be saw the image of Jesus on the cross in her uterus.
There really isn't anything more to say to that.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Yes, Honey, Mommy is Having Water Balloons Put In Her Chest!
File this under "things I couldn't have made up if I wanted to." A Florida plastic surgeon wrote a children's book called My Beautiful Mommy, in which a woman explains to her daughter why she wants plastic surgery "to become even more beautiful than before."
The little girl in the story accompanies her mother on the consultation with her (muscular, hulking, superhero-esque) surgeon, Dr. Michael. Then Mommy explains that she has "extra skin" and it "won't fit into her clothes" and that she needs to have a smaller tummy to feel better. And of course, she comes home with just a few bandages and minimal bruising, and feels so much better about herself and the world is happy again. Gag, gag, an have I mentioned...gag?
Just to prove I am, in fact, NOT making this up:
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Feel Like Ripping Your Hair Out?
The Guardian posted the most hate-filled, bigoted, discriminatory, anti-fat drivel I have ever read. Apparently we're "wrong" and that "there's nothing remotely beautiful about eyeing up a bunch of heart attacks waiting to happen" (aimed at Dove's wonderful Campaign For Real Beauty). Unfortunately, commenting has closed for the post, or I'd recommend several thorough verbal floggings, but I thought everyone would like to be as nauseous as possible.
By the way, sorry it's been awhile since I posted. I guess I was just too fat and lazy to do anything. I must have been too busy laying on the couch eating McDonald's (because that's obviously how I spend my days).
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Yeah, I'm *Totes* Not Buying This One.
Allegedly, the results of a Gallup poll indicate that if Obama were the Democratic nominee, 28% of Clinton supporters would vote for McCain. And 19% of Obama supporters would vote for McCain over Clinton.
So yeah, I really doubt that.
I mean let's think about this logically. Clinton and Obama are ideologically very similar if you look at their voting records and platforms. Focusing on issues that are important to me, both would be fine. Both are pro-choice and earned a 100% rating from NARAL, both have plans to get us out of Iraq, both have a idea for healthcare, etc. McCain's record on all of these things (which I'm not going to link to, because I don't want to be the reason anyone pukes up their dinner) is abysmal. He's anti-choice (and anti-woman, essentially), pro-war (he's said staying in Iraq for a century would be fine by him), and panders to the wealthy (which means healthcare reform is right out).
You'd have to be ridiculously stupid to vote for a candidate with a 180 degree difference from yourself because your favorite wasn't nominated. Especially when there's a candidate with a nearly identical ideology to your favorite just waiting to be voted for.
This kind of poll is incredibly fallible anyway. There's also the fact that people may say those things NOW, but come Election Day there's no way they'd actually pull the lever for McCain.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Random Little Quickie For You
I just noticed something, and it sure is deep.
You know that annoying Dunkin' Donuts commercial with the people singing about how they are too stupid to pronounce the names of coffee drinks?
One of their "Fritalian" names was "Himen Plu Cento," which I read as "hymen placenta."
That's all.
Monday, March 10, 2008
On A Non Governor-Whore Note...
What do college sports and sperm have in common?
Apparently watching the NCAA tournament is the perfect way to recover from a vasectomy. Because you can sit on the couch and apply frozen peas to your boy bits. Why peas? They squish around into all the nooks and crannies. OK, that last part actually makes sense. I've used peas and corn on injured toes and ankles for exactly that reason; they wrap around whatever hurts.
Do you think I could make this up?
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Fat-Shaming: Always a Good Message to Send Video Game Loving Teens and Kids
Here's one I couldn't have come up with myself. A Japanese video game based on fat-shaming. Oh yeah.
The story:
"A young woman who was once svelte and lovely has binged on too many sweets and pastries. As a result of extreme indulgence, her waistline has blossomed and her weight has surpassed 220lbs (100kg). When she reaches her sophomore year in high school, her father decides to send her and her brother to live in an apartment building which is populated with boys. Lots of boys.
The young woman likes the boys but when she introduces herself and professes her interest, she's rejected because of her tremendous size. With the help of her brother and inner determination, she resolves to lose weight and become little Miss Popular. You are that young woman and your mission is weight loss by way of exercise, diet, and mini-games."
Because:
1. No man could ever love someone who is overweight.
2. 220 lbs is so unbelievably massive ("tremendous" even) and unheard of that we should all be appalled by that horrific number.
3. There are many high school sophomores sent away by their fathers to live in apartment buildings that are also populated by teenagers.
4. "Svelte" and "lovely" are only available together. One could never be chunky and lovely.
5. Weight is the ONLY thing that keeps someone from being popular.
Gag me.
What a great message to send to teenagers. Like young girls don't have enough body issues. I think I'll keep this one OUT of my Nintendo DS.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Jesus Tapdancing Christ
Could someone please explain to me when rape became funny?
It's things like this that make rape victims not tell anyone, not report the crime, and act like nothing happened. We live in a culture that blames victims for crimes committed against them. Shirts like this just perpetuate that tragedy.
If you would like to complain, go here.
